Funny Definitions!!!



definition of cigarette

CIGARETTE:

A pinch of tobacco

rolled in paper

with fire at one end

and a fool at the other!

definition of love affair

LOVE AFFAIRS:

Something like Cricket

where One-Day Internationals

are more popular than

Five-Day Tests!

definition of marriage

MARRIAGE:

It’s an agreement

wherein

a man loses his bachelor degree

and a woman gains her master

definition of divorce

DIVORCE:

Future Tense

of Marriage

definition of lecture

LECTURE:

An art of transmitting Information

from the notes of the lecturer

to the notes of students

without passing through the minds

of either

definition of conference

CONFERENCE:

The confusion of one man

multiplied by the

number present

definition of compromise

COMPROMISE:

The art of dividing

a cake in such a way that

everybody believes

he got the biggest piece

definition of TEARS

TEARS:

The hydraulic force by which

masculine will power is

defeated by feminine water-power!

definition of dictionary

DICTIONARY:

A place where divorce comes

before marriage

definition of conference room

CONFERENCE ROOM:

A place where everybody talks,

nobody listens

and everybody disagrees later on

definition of ecstasy

ECSTASY:

A feeling when you feel

you are going to feel

a feeling

you have never felt before

definition of classic

CLASSIC:

A book

which people praise,

but never read

definition of smile

SMILE:

A curve

that can set

a lot of things straight!

definition of office

OFFICE:

A place

where you can relax

after your strenuous

home life

definition of yawn

YAWN:

The only time

when some married men

ever get to open

their mouth

definition of etc

ETC:

A sign

to make others believe

that you know

more than

you actually do

definition of committee

COMMITTEE:

Individuals

who can do

nothing individually

and sit to decide

that nothing can be done

together

definition of experience

EXPERIENCE:

The name

men give

to their

Mistakes

definition of atom bomb

ATOM BOMB:

An invention

to bring an end

to all

inventions

definition of philosopher

PHILOSOPHER:

A fool

who torments himself

during life,

to be spoken of

when dead

definition of diplomat

DIPLOMAT:

A person

who tells you

to go to hell

in such a way

that you actually look forward

to the trip

definition of opportunist

OPPORTUNIST:

A person

who starts taking bath

if he

accidentally falls

into a river

definition of optimist

OPTIMIST:

A person

who while falling

from EIFFEL TOWER

says in midway

“SEE I AM NOT INJURED YET!”

definition of pessimist

PESSIMIST:

A person

who says that

O is the last letter

in ZERO,

Instead of the first letter

in OPPORTUNITY

definition of miser

MISER:

A person

who lives poor

so that

he can die RICH!

definition of father

FATHER:

A banker

provided by

nature

definition of criminal

CRIMINAL:

A guy

no different

from the other,

unless he gets caught

definition of boss

BOSS:

Someone

who is early

when you are late

and late

when you are early

definition of politician

POLITICIAN:

One who

shakes your hand

before elections

and your Confidence

Later

definition of doctor

DOCTOR:

A person

who kills

your ills

by pills,

and kills you

by his bills!

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, December 3rd, 2008 at 4:34 am and is filed under FUN/Jolly SMS, Funny Phrases/Sayings SMS, One Liner SMS, SMS Jokes, Silly Messages, Thoughts/Quotes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

2 Responses to “Funny Definitions!!!”

Jimmy from Family Law Solicitors London November 13th, 2009 at 4:28 pm

Brilliant. Some great alternative ways of thinking. Reading this was a nice break from work, thanks.

Kaja November 24th, 2009 at 8:10 am

haha there were pretty funny. I escpecially liked the Boss one. SO true! Although I take offense to the smoker one, I am a smoker.. and I’m not a fool.. just kidding, its true, I’m a fool for smoking.. anyways, nice post.

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